September 24, 2025 - Wednesday


I'm so frustrated with my life right now. When I look ahead at my weeks, I have no time for anything! Clem's closet has been incomplete for months now, I rarely see my friends, and my life feels full of obligations. So, I spent the evening making a love/hate list and writing down my current commitments. Here's what I came up with:

Love About Homeschooling:

- Freedom of time!!!
- Later mornings
- Awesome community
- Extra time with my kids
- Wild & Free
- Seeing good friends
- Going to the movies
- More library visits

Things I Hate About My Current Homeschooling Situation:

- BEING OVER COMMITTED!!!!!
- LHM
- Westerville choir

Current Commitments:

- Wild & Free (weekly)           - CACH (2x month)
- LHM (2x month)                  - Lighthouse (weekly, but not much time spent)
- Work (daily)                          - Home Church/Dwell (daily)
- Book Club 1 (monthly)         - Book Club 2 (monthly)
- Carol Choir (weekly)            - Homeschool Choir (weekly)
- Endless Family Stuff (hourly)

* In magenta is the stuff that I'm not considering cutting out.

I'm going to talk to the kids and Ben tomorrow about all of this. I wish I could get some of my friend's perspectives on everything! What I'm leaning towards right now is dropping LHM and potentially quitting my job. 😬 While my work only adds up to a few hours a week, the constant recruitment and stress of having understaffed meetings is in my mind 24/7. Literally, I am thinking about it as I fall asleep, as soon as I wake up, and all day long. I never stop thinking about how I don't have enough staff and what the repercussions of that will be. I don't know how to stay in such a low paid, barely any hours position when it is taking such a toll on my life stress-wise. Praying for answers! LHM is more of a no-brainer. I feel bad leaving now that we're in full swing, but I never should have signed up for another year. I knew that. I let guilt get the better of me and I'm not going to do that anymore. I already told Clem I was done with the Westerville choir. I know we love her teacher, Ms. Kristin, but I cannot commit to three hours + each week for that anymore. I don't want to make too many drastic changes without getting perspectives from more people, so I'm trying to be patient! And I don't want to do anything that will cause me too much shame, putting me in a position where I want to hide away from everyone again. I want to offload some things, but I want to do it as well as I can. 

I just never make time for most of the things I love anymore. I rarely get to spend time with the friends I love so much. I never get to go to the movies with my kids, and we just cram in a quick library visit once every couple of weeks. I haven't been to Wild & Free in a month and I absolutely have NO sense of having freedom of time anymore. I've got to get back to enjoying homeschool life again! 

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