April 25, 2021 - Sunday (202/365)


Day 202 of my 365 Photo Journal 

Last day of the weekend. 😢 It just goes so fast. I didn't mention it yesterday, but since Mommom died (I can't remember if I mentioned it on Thursday or Friday), we've been waiting to hear when services would be so we could figure out when to head out to DE. Well, we found out the details and the funeral is on Thursday morning. With an 8-9 hour drive, that means Ben would have to take of three days and the kids would have to miss three days of school. On top of that, we can't all fit in the same house, staying with relatives, so we'd be split apart about 25 minutes from one another. So we'd drive out Wednesday, I'd drop the three big kids and Ben off at Patrick's. I'd drive up to Evie's, where me and Ollie would share a bed (uh, disaster in the making), then get up by 7 to drive down to Patrick's in rush hour traffic, pick up the family, drive back through rush hour traffic, up into NJ with the whole family and put the kids through a 4 hour viewing and funeral. After that would be the burial and luncheon and then the whole damn thing again with dropping off and traffic and separation and nonsense. After realizing all of this, we decided to look into flights and now I'm flying to PA on Wednesday. I'm freaked out. I don't want to do it, but I have to get out there and it's not practical for us all to go. I haven't flown in over a decade and since having kids, I've developed anxiety about being away from my kids without a fast/easy way of getting back to them. Whatever. I don't need to beat this to death. I'm flying in a couple of days, all alone, and trying to fight off the anxiety. I'm going out there to serve my family, to love on my dad, to relieve some of Marme's burden of taking care of things at the funeral and luncheon. I'm dreading it, but I'm doing it.

I hate that I'm just taking iPhone photos and uploading them right now. It's a little disappointing, but (I think I said this yesterday too) this is the best I can do right now! And Ollie playing in this ball pit gave us both a ton a joy today. She is so fun when she's being nice and we had a blast laughing and playing together. 

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