April 9, 2021 - Friday (186/365)
I bought Clemi this yard dice set for Easter and one of the games that was suggested in the instructions is called Farkle. What I love about it is that nearly the whole family can play and it's really fun! So, if you take a turn in the game and aren't able to score anything, it's called a Farkle. We have taken to calling the loser of the game (me, the first game and Ben, the second game) Queen or King Farkle. Good times. 😂 King Farkle, here, has the COOLEST method of rolling his dice. He stacks up all six of them and throws them all into the air at once. The way the six dice arc up and fall back down is just so fun to watch. I had to get a picture!
This picture below, I'm not even sure why I like. Ruby was crying about something--I can't remember what--and Ollie is just kind of sitting there. I think it's the composition that draws me to it. I just like it!
I ended up feeling really sad tonight because I didn't feel like Ben was paying attention to me. It sounds so petulant and silly, but it is what it is. Group, on Thursday night, kind of spurred me to think about my marriage and the things about it that might be slowly, silently messing things up for us. I think I got it in my mind that I'd start being more attentive to Ben right away and, without talking to him about it, I just started expecting that back. He was caught off guard and then I felt like he didn't like me anymore. That quick. I hate that even after 13+ years being with Ben, I still feel insecure, like there's just no way he actually likes me. I'm so obnoxious, and harsh, and short tempered, and on top of it all, I'm not even pretty anymore. At least these are all of the things I tell myself when I'm feeling sad.
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