April 29, 2021 - Thursday (206/365)


Day 206 of my 365 Photo Journal 

Pizza and a movie night! I love Thursdays. It's rainy here and although I took a few pictures with my iPhone today, I'm posting one of the pictures Ben took of me and Ollie yesterday and another that Ben took of Ollie with a beautiful background of leaves. I love them both so much. 

Today was my Mommom's funeral and I was able to watch some of it on Facebook. Funerals are so hard. They're just so final. The priest mentioned giving God thanks for the life that she lived and the things that we can remember about her and I thought that was a really good idea. I've stored some resentment in my heart towards her for most of life, because I wanted to be special, not just one of the many. But the truth is, there are SO many of us grandchildren. How could I have expected her to be able to do that, especially when I was always pulling away? It was childish and immature and I'm glad I took the time to really think about her today. I am grateful that I had a mommom who was committed to hosting Sunday dinners with her family every week, that I had the opportunity to spend time with my cousins, aunts, and uncles, that I was a part of something big, loving, and special. I am thankful that she made the effort to make an Easter basket for each one of us, every year, filled with candy that she made us herself (even though it wasn't very good 😅). I'm thankful that my mommom quilted blankets for us and that I still have several of them to cherish and pass on to my own children someday, showing them the love that my grandmother had for us. Mommom showed me that she cared in many ways over the years, even though it was often a collective caring of all of her many grandchildren. I wish that I had been able to take that for what it was, rather than pushing it away altogether. Goodbye, Mommom. I'm looking forward to Sunday dinners with you in Heaven.

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