February 24, 2023 - Friday


Today was a mess. I woke up feeling pretty junky and Ben headed out right after dropping Ruby at the bus stop. Clem stayed home because her "stomach hurt". She also showed us her finger, which was swollen and pus-filled. 😟 I made her a doc appt. and went there with her at 10. (She's fine.) Afterward, I ran over to main campus to grab the supply bags for Sunday. On the way home, Clem said that she realized she just doesn't feel sick at all! And asked to go to school. It's fine. It's good that she wants to go, but her lunch wasn't made and her backpack wasn't packed up and, honestly, I was looking forward to having someone here to keep Ollie company! But I took her in to school anyway, because what kind of mom keeps their kids home to take care of the younger ones?? My mom. That's who. She relied on me to take care of Justina for months and months. I missed so much school. As much as that makes life easier for a mom, it's not right. So, off to school she went. 

I'm in a very low place. Feeling resentful and angry and like I just want to start all over. Leave it to depression to convince you that life could be so much better somewhere else. I know it's a lie, but man, I want to escape. I wish I had someone who was just here. Available, willing and eager to hang out, supportive, convenient. All those things that I don't have in my friends and/or family. It's these kinds of things that make me miss Delaware. There was never a shortage of people to spend time with. If I didn't want to be alone, I just never had to be alone. If it wasn't my top tier of friends or family, there were always cousins, aunts, 2nd-tier friends. There was no shortage. It's different here. 

I had the kids eat cereal for dinner (stellar mom award goes to me!) and FINALLY got them to bed. I played Harry Potter for two hours or so, then watched a movie in bed. Good times!

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