January 19, 2025 - Sunday


We went to church today, but didn’t do too much else. As soon as it was over, I gathered the kids to leave. I just didn’t feel like waiting for Ben to rush me out this time. It gets embarrassing, so I just did it myself. I did talk to him at home about it a little. He agrees that it’s embarrassing and can see how it’s frustrating for me, but at the same time, his heart is just not in it still. He doesn’t want to see people or be involved in a church community. He wants to want it though, which he says is part of why he keeps coming to stuff anyway. I told him it feels like he’s turning it into doing favors for me or something and if that’s the case, DON’T! I’m happier without his dead weight dragging along beside me all the time. But he asked me to try and be patient with him and give him grace. He deserves that from me, but I don’t feel like giving it.

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