January 5, 2025 - Sunday


Depression hit me like a ton of bricks today. Whew. It's not good. I did go to CT this morning and was so intimidated by all of the new people joining our group. I wish I could be excited! But I'm just feeling more like an outcast. I know that's the enemy talking and I need to stay as positive as I can about this. I'm sure they're all feeling like outsiders and struggling with some anxiety too. Hopefully I can get up the gumption to at least introduce myself tomorrow. 

After CT, Ben went to MtG, then Jonas went to HC, and I spent hours cleaning and organizing while the girls were a whirlwind of chaos, giggles, and bickering around me. I'm pretty overwhelmed at how disorganized and dirty my house is right now. I am planning on taking a little more time off of school with the hopes of working towards restoring things to normal around here, but then, of course, I'm doubting my homeschooling and worrying that if I give them more time off we'll just fall behind. But we can always go later into the summer! Not that that's an easy thing to do. Lord, help me with my hopelessness. 

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