January 24, 2023 - Tuesday


Ollie slept through the night again, thank God, but Jonas woke me up at 5:45am acting like he was dying. It honestly scared the crap out of me. He was wheezing and really struggling to get breath. I couldn't wait to get him to the doctor and when I laid back down (b/c no appts could be made until 8), I kept having visions of him lying in a hospital bed, hooked to a ventilator. I was just so freaked out. BUT when we got to the doc, there was nothing wrong with him at all, besides a cold. It seems like he was having a panic attack, which is why he felt like he couldn't breathe. So, $20 wasted, but peace of mind gained. I guess it's a fair trade off.

I feel like I'm in a bit of a better mental headspace today. Still not doing great, but maybe a little less pessimistic about the future. Work is a little less demanding this week and I've been staying home a lot, so I'm feeling less external pressure. I talked to my friend Heidi about a teensy bit of my stress and she helped to remind me that my children are my most important ministry right now and to give myself a break if I don't feel like I can do ALL THE THINGS, ALL THE TIME. I'm not going to be any good to anyone if I keep burning myself out. 




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