September 9, 2026 - Wednesday


I am getting so excited for the retreat this weekend! I am super relieved that Rachel and Jenny insist that I hang out with them, even though I haven't been around lately. I can't wait. 

Today was school. It took a while! But we got through everything. And Jonas skipped BJJ because of his cold. I know he's right, but it's so frustrating that he misses so much! It would suck to be rolling around on the mat with someone who's congested and coughing though. I would be really pissed if my sparring partner was that openly sick! But still. So much money for him to never freaking go. I had to take Ruby to choir at 4, then got home and started cooking. Ben saw me cooking and irritably scolded me for it because it meant he'd have to be the one to go get Ruby...and I just snapped. I raised my voice and said, "I KNOW you can't pick her up, Ben! You can't do ANYTHING. EVERYTHING is too much for Ben! I realize that I am responsible for all meals, for all rides, for all of EVERYTHING that most people would consider a joint obligation. DON'T WORRY. You don't have to go get her. I will cook, and I'll clean everything up, and I'll do all the rides. I wouldn't dare add anything to your somehow already overwhelming existence!" And then he got super pissed. He went to get Ruby and then we ate. Then we headed to small group, still tense and angry. 

We did a good job pretending to not be upset while we were there. Ben led and did a great job. His questions started a lot of good conversation and when things slowed down, I made sure to bring up comments that I knew people would want to discuss. We're a good team. I just wish I wasn't so angry at him so often. 

We did talk that night when we got home and he expressed that he was not mad about me cooking because he didn't want to go get Ruby, he was mad because I had just told him how stressed I was about everything and he told me not to cook and to just let us eat cereal for dinner. He said he was exasperated with me, not mad. I took it as mad. At least I didn't have to apologize this time. 

*Picture from W&F yesterday, since I forgot to take any today!

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