Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

We did school today. I was grumpy, but not as angry as yesterday. I forced myself to spend some time talking to Ashley this afternoon…mostly to make Ben happy. I don’t have a whole lot to say about my day. I got some terrible news about Uncle Ed very late last night, right before all the tornado warnings. It seems he doesn’t have much longer to live. I’m not sure how I’ll break it to the kiddos. Dad and a Marme are really struggling. We had the kids down in the basement for about an hour last night, but thankfully, they all slept in this morning! 

This was an unprecedented lapse in blogging for me and I felt guilty about it every day. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were all good days. We had the Brown's over for dinner on Friday and played Dominos after a delicious dinner and dessert. Saturday was incredibly restful. Lots and lots of reading. Sunday brought the beginnings of the stresses of the week, with CT and prep for Monday. Monday was ok. We did great with school, but I had to spend a bunch of time getting snacks ready for HC, which I half enjoyed and half felt frustrated about. Today has been bad.  I checked my mood/period tracker and tomorrow would be exactly 28 days from the last time I recorded feeling "mood changes", so, if it is PMDD, that would make a lot of sense. It's crazy how fast it all changes! Just Saturday, I was sitting around feeling like life is amazing. I laughed and smiled all day. Today, I'm like a freaking psycho. Pissed at everyone, I yelled several times, feel like divorcing Ben, ...

Today was a lot. We did school, grabbed McDonald's, went to my staff meeting, dropped Clem off at choir, visited Brittany for an hour, grabbed Clemi from choir, let the kids play on the playground, then finally went home. The only enjoyable part of the whole thing was getting to see Brit for a little while! I'm not going to bother talking about this day anymore. I'm ready for it to be gone from my memory. 

I decided to cancel our field trip today so that I could run some errands and finish up prep on my teaching. I think it was a good idea. It made the whole day feel a little easier. I ran all of my errands (Home Depot, Target, the library, and Walmart), and came home and added more dirt to the garden. I didn't feel anxious about leading group tonight, thankfully. I think it helped when I made the mind shift to leading, rather than teaching. I don't feel like there's anything I could teach these people, but I can lead a discussion!  Cell did go pretty well. We talked a lot and everyone participated, which I'm super grateful for. 

We had Wild & Free today and it was all the way down at Slate Run. So we drive the 45 minutes to get there and then the kids just played on the playground for an hour! I was so frustrated. I drove 45 minutes for my kids to play on a playground. Like, could we not have done that a little closer? We did eventually walk down to the creek, but I felt uncomfortable the whole time, because of how much poison ivy was around. I could see it everywhere! I did corner Val and talk to her about all of the drama that's been happening. It sounds like she's not going to change the day now...maybe? I have no idea what's going on and it sounds like she doesn't know either. I just feel completely neutral about whether or not she stays in charge of things, as long as it remains on Tuesdays and Cass can't threaten/hurt my kids anymore. Those are the two things that are most important to me. Me not having to lead would also be a plus! But I think some other people are feeling differ...

It was a decent day. Nothing particularly good or bad happened. We did all of our schoolwork, for a change, and went to the library. The kids spent quiet time outside, while I played Zelda. Then I cleaned, prepped for dinner, worked on laundry, and spent time working on the garden gate. Before I knew it, it was 7:30 and Ben was about to fall asleep, laying in bed. So I guess he decided not to go to HC. *rolling my eyes* I finished putting away clothes, then laid in bed watching tv on and off between putting kids to bed. Big day!

CT went ok this morning, but TNT is struggling! They just can’t seem to get more than 2 people there each Sunday and I don’t want to step in too much because I’m worried someone might quit. It’s a tough spot to be in. Ben was grumpy and pissy by 11:20, demanding that we leave right away. So frustrating that he does this every Sunday!! When we got home, we had a talk about things we could do to help him be more patient after CT. I’m supposed to be available to work until noon, first off. Secondly, I NEVER get to go over and visit with HC people because Ben just doesn’t give me that time! It’s a bummer. He suggested we pack lunch and try that for a couple of weeks. Hoping it helps! I decided not to do yard work today. Ben had a list of like 15 things he wanted to get done and I just chilled all day long. Until my stupid volunteer appreciation “social”, that is. Here’s the thing. We all just want to express to our Oasis volunteers how much we love them and appreciate them, but we don’t kn...