July 18, 2026 - Saturday



Today was so hot. So, so hot and muggy. It was hard to think about anything besides packing and the gosh darn heat. We went to the pool with Evie, JJ, Harrison, and Bailee and it was just terrible. 😅 The pool water was hotter than my skin and it was PACKED in there. Hair was floating around all over the place. It was so gross and hot and awful! Then we had some crabs for lunch, which was awesome and then I kept whining to Ben that I wanted to leave today, instead of tomorrow. But, honestly, that wasn't feasible. I'm just sick of being hot and my period is starting and I'm ready to get the f home. I'm also pretty annoyed, in general, and miss my family. 

I hate that this is the only week each year that I can actually count on seeing people and building in with them. I told Ben that there was definitely a part of me that feels like if it weren't for him, I'd be able to be with my family all of the time. He did not like that. He's been pretty quiet since I let that out yesterday. *sigh* It's true, but I know it was a hurtful thing to say. He is THE barrier to me being home. Literally the sole reason we're in Ohio, instead of back east. I'm not mad that I've gotten to live here, and we have a fantastic life and many wonderful friends. I'm not mad! But I have always had sadness about being far away. Earlier this week I saw a Facebook memory of me saying goodbye to my Ohio friends because I was about to make my last drive ever from Columbus to New Castle and move there for good. Instead, we lived there for a year before Ben moved us back here. Our marriage was failing and he was miserable. What choice did I have? I've made the most of life here and have gotten to meet and make friends with lots of great people in the last 10 years that I wouldn't have even met if we hadn't come back. It's been good. But it's also been a decade nearly completely devoid of family. Anyway, I'm just in my feels. It is what it is. Trying not to resent my husband, even though I kind of resent my husband. 

In the evening, there was a live band that a few of us went to watch. It was really hot. Hahahaha the theme of the day! I ended up leaving after an hour or so. It was stiflingly hot. Ben was in a terrible mood and kept yelling at Ruby. I just wanted him to disappear. But I went to the concert with him anyway and we had a decent time. We got packed up as much as we possibly could, then all headed to bed by 11. It's going to be a long day tomorrow!

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